Friday, 8 November 2013

The perfect recipe for a merry Christmas...

The Perfect Recipe for a Merry Christmas...
The weather is slowly changing, the dry, hot air is gradually giving way to a lingering cold after several rain storms that cleansed the air of the humidity. I sighed contentedly as i slung my school back over my shoulder and prepared to walk across the dew-soaked field in front of my grand mother's hut to our local school...

This is a fading memory from my childhood, every time i remember it, it brings just one season to mind; harmattan! the Christmas season. even though the weather during this time is merciless(dry, cold and dusty) it is my favorite time of the year. Why you ask? well..
Not only do I get off from school then, I get to play as much as I can and it was the only time my wonderful parents could afford to buy me a brand new dress! And shoes! Ah I miss those childhood days of innocence, when things were simpler, life was full of promises and you just lived to eat, sleep and play(sounds like a popular movie right?)

Nowadays, well, one is busy, sometimes you don't even get time off from work and enjoy the holiday, you just shoulder on, and while the year winds down, you're already making plans for the next year, no breaks, no time to stop and smell the coffee. You have bills to pay, mouths to feed, and your once favorite time of the year is now your worst because its the period when more things remind you of how much time you've spent and how little you've achieved! It is the period when you spend more money on gifts, for the kids, the occasional hubby or lover, the in laws you cant even stand, the colleagues, the boss's wife (hopefully it will help when you're asking for that salary increase in the upcoming year!) the pastor, your church prayer partner, your siblings and on and on it goes....
The last person you add to that list, that is if you ever do, is the person that deserves the gift the most; YOU!
But after spending so much, you decide to hold off on buying that new purse or giving yourself that spa treatment because it just not worth it! Well I'm calling it!
Because you will enter into the next year, miserable, bitter and ungrateful!
So, this Christmas, my recipe for you is this;

1. 12 cups of reflection;
2. 5tbs of mistakes;
3. 12 cups of gratitude
4. 1 generous prayer of thanksgiving
5. 1 hot plate of positive attitude
Go back to the first month of the year, go month after month and reflect on the goodness of God in your life. Those daily things you take for granted, after mixing all that in the big bowl called the mind add five tbs of mistakes, remember five things you didn't do well or that you could have done better, remember, don't dwell on them, just remember and move on, now add your 12 cups of gratitude to the mix, remember you're still alive and that means there's hope! Even though you haven't met all your goals, you have achieved something this year; staying alive(something alot of people that died cannot boast of!)
Now you're almost done with your mix, add a good prayer of thanksgiving to God and you're done! Thank Him for what He accomplished in your life and thank Him, for what you labeled setbacks, Thank Him in advance for the upcoming year and thank Him that you have people around you, because so many are lonely and alone, but you're not. Then serve this wonderful, mouthwatering dish with a positive attitude. There! You have the perfect Christmas and you're ready to face the challenges and blessings of the new year.

Go ahead, try it!

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Reading Tea leaves...

Reading Tea leaves...

Hi all! Such a wonderful period! its summer in most countries, but its raining cows and chickens in Lagos! The weather has cooled, the streets, though flooded in some areas are clean of debris (although to say the truth albeit grudgingly, Fashola has been quite a storm in cleaning Lagos up!(pun intended!))
Has it been a wet wet wet period for you? have you been caught in the rain at some point and had to go to where you were going drenched? I know, it can be very dreary and frustrating moving around without a personal means of transportation, but we Lagosians, we get by sha, one way or the other, abi nah? how we for do? We keep on keeping on because failure is not an option, some people are so frustrated and hopeful at the same time that they're ready to take any sign as God telling them something.
 Do you remember when we were growing up we were told that if you wake up in the morning and get pecked by a chicken you should head straight back to bed or the rest of the day will be terrible for you?(bet you didn't know that, eh?) or you stub your toe and depending on whether it is right or left you know whether you're going to have a good event or bad event befall you.
Yes, we Lagosians are superstitious, we don't believe getting drenched in the rain is bad luck or romantic(we no be Indians, thank you!lol)
Have you ever met one of those really superstitious people that read meaning into everything? they daily update their horoscope, they watch for black cats when crossing the road, they will never pass under a ladder, they check their tea cup when its empty for the pattern of the tea leaves (shoo!) Yes, apparently, in some cultures, you can read someone's destiny from a tea cup (gives a whole new meaning to 'storm in a tea cup' don't you think?)
Whether youre successful in predicting your future or not, heres a truth for you; God's thought towards you are not for evil, but of good, thoughts of peace and to give you an expected end! thats all the sign you need to know that the rain will stop, and the sun will shine again. You may be drenched today, but you will experience God's warmth, and the storms of life will not drown you, just trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Instead of learning how to read signs in your tea cup, drink that tea, put your feet up with a satifying sigh and wait for the rains to pass(they surely will pass) and after the rain, comes sunny calmness and the brightness of the day!
Dont despair! ciao!

Monday, 10 June 2013

Here's to Life...

Sometimes I feel all 'talked out', you know as if i've said all i need to say, written all i need to write. I was wondering what to blog about today, thinking of all the ways i've exposed my life (Tales out of school narrative or 10 first dates ridiculousness) and I wonder if we ever get talked out.
Can you REALLY say you've said all you need to say?If yes, why do we miss loved ones that have passed on? why do we say things like, "i wish i could just see them one more time and say..."
 The answer, I think  is no, you never know when a word would heal or alleviate a heavy heart. When your silliness (Nemo, thank you for being your funny self!) or seriousness is exactly what someone needs to break out of the funk they find themselves because life is NOT fair...
You must keep on keeping on. So, what to share with all my wonderful friends out there today? Well....
I don't have a witty story, or a funny incident, I will say as much to myself as I say to you, "HANG IN THERE!" God knows where it hurts, and He knows HOW it hurts, just don't give up yet, its not too late, you're not too old, too poor, too stupid, or whatever you feel or think, if its negative, then its not true, just HANG IN there! Everything will soon make sense, you will soon win that Emmy, or Pulitzer, or Nobel Prize, but you need to be around to enjoy the success. 

Like Joseph(from the Bible) keep helping others, God will help you! the bible says we should not be weary in doing good, just keep at it. You will break through and make it and when you stand on the other side and if someone asks, "Whats the secret to your success?" You will smile at them and say, "God did it!" Because you know that saying anything else, would be a huge, blatant lie.
So dear friends, here's to you, from the bottom of my heart, "hang in there Champs!God's got all figured out"That's all you need to know, trust me!Ciao!

PS: My heartfelt wishes goes to the family of Bollywood Actress Jiah Khan who committed suicide recently, such a sad loss, and a terrible waste...

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

"All that's sunny is not warm..."

Hiya! Happy New month! It seems just the other day we were telling each other, "Happy New Year!" The year seems to be sprinting for the finish line or is it just me? ah well... where to start, what to say? hmmmm! I never wrote about my trip to the UK did I? okay, let me tell you about going to the UK for the first time, it was such a jumble of extreme emotions! I was excited, petrified, anxious(don't you just hate airport terminals, stop overs and connecting flights?!) and totally relieved!why? well I was getting 5 free nights to sleep without an internal alarm clock that will wake me up at 5am for work.
We got to Manchester (i was travelling with my nephew, i go gist una why later,joor!) And as we both looked out of the revolving door, though tired we both nodded at each other in excitement, It looked bright and sunny and just super clean(where was the dreary weather I have heard so much about ?) as we waited to be picked up by Mark, our escort who walked towards us wearing track suit and blowing into his hands. Was it that cold i thought as he grabbed our luggage and wheeled it out, as we made our way out, na so i hear my nephew scream, "Sh******T!" I would have said the same, if i wasn't too busy racing for the car,why you ask?
The cold was the godfather of any cold I've ever experienced. we abandoned all curtesy and dove for the back seat of the mini Mark pointed to us,shooo! na so we dey shiver, my face was so cold i couldn't feel my lips! I sounded slurred when i talked!
Before we left sha I could almost bear the cold, but I was better dressed for it, but that first day, wetin my eye see, my mouth(literarily!) no fit talk am! I go dey gist una small small, no be small thing joor! 
PS: The picture is the view from my hotel room, clear weather, sunny snow et al!

Tuesday, 30 April 2013


…Rain, Rain, go away, come again another day...

Hello Peeps! It’s so great to back again! I especially love this period because the weather is getting cooler and the dreaded rains are here! I’m sure there’s no true Lagos worker that loves the raining season, much as we want to romanticize it. I remember a particular day last year…
My day started at 5am, I looked up to the sky as I was ready to go and the stars were out in full force, taking that as a sign that it won’t rain (at least till I get to work o) I set out with my foldable umbrella and ballet shoes, I got to the bus-stop and boarded the bus for work. Still enjoying the fact that I got a bus easily I put on my earphones and listened to some much needed gospel songs.
I faintly heard the first rumble just as we got to the start of the third mainland bridge. Removing my earphones I listened again as I scanned the darkening sky…shoo, see this rain o! The next clap of thunder came with gazillions lightening flashes. Before we got off the bridge it had started raining cats and dogs! Na so the fine bus wey I enter start to dey leak! I had to open my umbrella inside the bus to stop the dirty rain water that leaked through the rusted roof of the bus. By the time I finally made it to work, I was dragging my left foot because my ballet shoes went ballet on me the minute I stepped on the flooded roads, my trusty foldable also did what it was advertised for doing; folded as the strong winds tore at it, so drenched from head to toe, shivering from cold and walking on one shoe, I finally made it to the office. I sat there having a pity party as my colleague loaned me her warm sweater and I waited for my clothes to dry sipping on a huge mug of Milo. Yes, that’s just an ordinary rainy day in Lasgidi. This year, I’m better prepared o! I have bought a bigger umbrella and plastic sandals that are rain proof! Yes ke, any independent corporate naija babe knows that image is everything; I carry a second blouse to work, just in case the one I’m wearing gets
Abeg enjoy the season as it unfolds! Happy raining season joor!

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

When gods Cry...

When gods Cry...
When Abraham heard from God that he was going to be the father of many nations, he believed and it was accounted for him as righteousness. See, the promise took a long time coming, and even when it finally manifested, Abraham had just one child to start with! the father of many nations, just one child! As if that was not enough, God asked him to sacrifice that one child to him. Abraham's only hope of becoming what God has said he will be was fast diminishing! If I were in His shoes, I may not out rightly disobey God, but I sure would be looking for alternative ways to keep my lineage! my thoughts would probably be on bringing Ismael back, or marrying another wife! Even though we don't know what was passing through Abraham's mind, his actions told us that he was calm in the face of this impending doom. And God came through for him in the end. 

So many times we are faced with situations that frustrate us because we have heard from God concerning one dream or desire and yet, everything seems to be working against bringing that dream to fruition. What do you do, when you've tried everything and its just not working? throw up your hands and give it up? Keep trying to find alternative means to make it work? or just waiting on God? My younger brother asked me once, how do you know when you're waiting on God from wasting time? Good question right? right!
When God gives you a vision, and He doesn't make provision immediately like in Abraham's case, how do you work it? how do you wait and not waste time? The truth is, Once the vision is from God, waiting time, no matter how long it is, is not wasted time. How do I know about this? Romans 8:28 says, All things work together for good, for them who love God and those who are the called according to His purpose"  In His time God will make all things beautiful as long as you don't give up on it, God will not give up on you.  Its okay to cry if you're the type, its even okay to laugh(Sarah did it) but what is not okay, is to stop believing, or to give up.
The bible says that God is able to do, exceedingly, abundantly above that which we ask or think... He knows you, He hasn't forgotten His promise to you and He will surely keep it. He loves you and He wants nothing more than to see you succeed and become His testimony to the world.
Remember the bible says that ye are gods...when gods cry, what do we expect humans to do? Don't give up darlings, our God is faithful and this season, He WILL remember YOU!
Wipe those tears and put on a smile, because you worship a God that cannot lie! It is well with you! ciao!

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Lets Hear it for The Wives!

Hello All! So I'm writing a book, its about abusive relationships and its titled, "Lets hear it for the wives" This is a summary of my major characters, can you read and tell me if its a book you would be interested to read and hopefully buy when i get published? please be brutally honest, okay? thanks!


 Five women in their relationships, they are people that are envied and admired by all, but inside, they are dying…

(Husband is a pastor in a popular church, cheats on her with her sister)
The cameras flashed and Foluke smiled accordingly turning as she was instructed to do. Her husband, Dr. Nsidibe Graham moved closer and bent down so that their heads were almost on the same level, it must have been a feat since he was 6ft 6 inches for her 5foot frame. They smiled at the popping cameras as she wondered if she remembered to close the kitchen window she opened when she was frying the oil to make the onion stew her husband requested before they left home.
They turned now as someone called the Dr by name and finally made their way into the heavily secured banquet hall. They glided down the well decorated wrought iron stairs into the large hall that was done in gold hue for the occasion. Still smiling, holding hands and waving to friends, the event was been televised and Foluke was sure to stick close to her husband.
Their table was almost front row, middle; they were seated with Ambassador Rotimi Iyalla and his beautiful Kenyan wife, Naturo.
The smile slipped from Dr Nsidibe’s mouth momentarily when he saw that he had not been placed at the governor’s table, he took solace in the fact that it was next to their table, and drew out the cream brocade covered and red-ribboned chair for his wife to sit.
She nodded her thanks and sat down adjusting her off shoulder floor length gold lame dress on her ample bosom, she belatedly caught her husband’s disapproving glare.
She smiled sheepishly and shifted on the chair. She looked around wondering if Isokhe made it after all. She sincerely hoped so. It will be a very boring date if she didn’t have a friendly face to keep her company…she sighed and opened her small gold clutch and quickly checked her face on the small compact mirror she carried in it, a full fleshy, benign face, almost devoid of any make-up stared back.
Her features were normal, but she knew how to play up her best asset, her eyes. She had on an olive green shadow that accentuated her deep grey eyes giving her a feral look, her fleshy lips had a dab of glossy brown lip balm, just as her husband had told her, he said it made her usually large mouth seem smaller.
She sighed again, if only one of the diets will work, she thought dispassionately, stealing a look at her husband’s trim, but slightly muscled frame with something akin to jealousy, he could eat a house and not add anything.
 He finally sat down after wandering off to the other table to shake hands and slap backs and laugh at a stale joke or two, he called it ‘power walk’ he saw events like this as opportunity to advance himself in the social ladder.
He sat down now next to her and turned to her with a smile, leaning in as if he wanted to give her a peck, “try to look happy instead of looking like a constipated pig!” he whispered viciously. She nodded obediently, looking down to hide the hurt in her eyes and smoothening her flowing dress around her lap, the evening had finally begun, she thought…

(Husband is a successful consultant, but is a homosexual in secret)
“Hip, hip! Hurrayyy!!!!” the small crowd shouted as Bertha stood smiling, to say she was taken off guard was an understatement. Greg had told her three days ago that he was off to Escravos on an offshore assignment. She had concluded that he forgot their wedding anniversary again and was planning her huge pity party for herself when she got home from work that day.
Her best friend, Kike had called that she made okra soup with amala and she had decided to branch and collect her portion only for her to show up and walk into a surprise party planned by her husband Gregg! She smiled at him again and kissed his neck, she was so overwhelmed by this single act.
Kike was almost bouncing off the wall with excitement, “I knew you could be punked!” she yelled as she joined in the embrace, her skinny arms held on to the two of them, they had all been friends at the university, she was then bunking with a naïve Bertha who had just joined them from the village. Her brother’s friend, Greg had taken to her the minute he set eyes on her.

(Husband is an island big boy who is a drug addict; the secret is kept away from the public at all cost)
Isokhe dabbed her left eye with more concealer and peered through the throbbing member, it looked almost normal she concluded and added deep blue eye shadow, the trick was to wear too much eye make up to distract people from the wound.
She winced as she put on her bra, her fourth rib on the left side felt as if it was broken, she stared at her face in the mirror when she was done and marveled at how well she had hidden her ‘accident’.
She painfully got to her feet and stepped into the stiff, black dress she had chosen for the banquet, it was cropped necked and long sleeved, and covered her usually delectable legs. If she stood apart from friends and didn’t make any physical contact with anybody, she was sure she will survive the evening without collapsing in excruciating pain.
She would have given anything to stay home in grubby sweat shirts and pajama bottom, or soaking in the hot tub with hot oils and herbs to heal her battered body, but she had to make an appearance especially since her loving husband Ife was not up to it.
She was tired of hearing her mother tell her that she was weak and not a team player,
“All men” she would lecture slowly, “are flawed, that’s why they need us Issi, you have to cover your husband’s mistakes or you are weak and selfish!” she will say in her characteristic soft, whispery voice, her mother never yelled, but she got her point across alright! She belonged to the generation of “a lady is seen and not heard” so shouting was beneath her.
Isokhe sighed as she remembered the day she had confided to her mother about Ife’s problem, she had sniffed as if the air was suddenly polluted, wrinkling her pert nose, then she had turned to Isokhe with a steely glare, “tattlers perish in the everlasting fire, wives are not to bear tales of their husbands, Issi”
Isokhe had opened her mouth to protest but her mother had raised a small well manicured hand up to stop her, she wasn’t done dishing out wisdom to her impetuous daughter,
“A three fold cord is not easily broken, and I should not be the third party in your cord, God should be, use you knees woman!” Isokhe sighed heavily again,
Straightening the black dress, she limped to the bathroom and opened her medicine cabinet and brought out a bottle of Midol, she took three oval tablets and swallowed them dry. Then she sat on the closed bidet and waited for the drug to kick in, she needed the numbness to make it through the night, she thought as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back, she allowed her mind to wander to her happy place, a dangerous place, she knew, but she felt sometimes she needed to live or die, even if it’s a just a fantasy…

(Husband is a public servant who embezzles m*oney, who is also a mummy’s boy)
Alhaji Musa folded the last item of clothing into the compact travel bag and straightened up, he saw Dinatu, his wife of eight years staring at him from across the bedroom and smiled and shook his head at the same time, “it’s a four day trip, I don’t know why you’re sulking” he said as he walked over to her and rubbed her shoulders, she looked up at him with large puppy looking eyes, “then why are you taking so much cloths?” she asked in a whiny voice, he tilted her cheek up, “the minister said I may attend the book launch on his behalf after the conference, I’m just being prepared, like a scout” he said with a smile, he bent and planted a kiss on her lips, she sighed, “then why cant I come?” she asked for the umpteenth time, “because mama said she’s coming and wont be fair if we both leave home, eh?” he answered a little exasperated, he moved away now and sat on the well made bed picking up his phone, “okay, I won’t nag, but know that I miss every minute you’re away” she said in a small voice, he raised a finger as he put the phone to his ear, “hello your Excellency” he said pausing, “yes sir, I’m on my way now to the airport sir” he replied nodding his head, “um, my wife can take me sir, its no trouble” he looked over at her with raised eyebrows, she nodded her assent, “okay sir” he said now, “thank you sir, I look forward to it too” he ended the call and put the phone into the pocket of his navy blue brocade jalabia. She stood up as well, “I have to drive you to the airport?” she asked already dreading the task, “no dear, he said his driver is already on his way here” as if to buttress the point, the doorbell chimed, “speak of the devil” he said chuckling and holding her waist as he picked up the travel bag with the other hand, “concentrate on entertaining mama, I’m sure you will both have enough to keep you busy” he said rubbing the small of her back, she purred, “massages when you return?” she asked lifting her face up to receive a kiss, “massages and more” he whispered into her ear as they got to the bedroom door, they heard a knock, Alhaji Musa opened it, their live-in help Aminat stared up at him, “the minister’s driver is here alhaji” she said in a low voice she used only when she was talking to him. Dinatu stared at her irritated, if she was not related to her husband’s family, she would have kicked the stupid girl out for making passes at her husband, “thank you Amina, please bring the pot of tuwo out of the fridge and warm it” Dinatu said dismissively, then turning to hug and kiss her husband, “but there’s no one in the house to eat it” Aminat replied haughtily, Dinatu turned sharply, “do it because I said so!” Aminat paused for a while then turned and stomped away murmuring about wasteful wives, Dinatu turned to her husband, “I hope mama will take her away this time, I’m fed up with her insulting attitude” Alhaji smiled indulgently, “she’s just a child Dina, treat her like one of our girls”
“One of our girls wont be that insulting to me and get away with it!” she retorted,
“I’m telling you if that girl thinks she can come into my matrimonial home and seduce my husb—” he gently placed a finger on her lips cutting her off, “no one can take me away from you, I’m completely yours, please I will miss my flight at this rate” he reiterated checking his gold Rolex wristwatch. She saw him out to the army green colored SUV the minister sent to pick him; it had the government crest and no plate numbers.
She waved to the driver as she hugged him again and planted another kiss on his lips, “be safe my love” she whispered to him, the same thing she did every time he took a trip, “may Allah be merciful to us” came his usual reply before he got into the car, the driver shut the door and saluted smartly before he jumped into the driver seat and drove out of the plush quarters, Dinatu stood there for a long time, thanking Allah for giving her such a wonderful husband and blessing her with three beautiful daughters, her life would have been perfect if she didn’t have that stupid help, but she wasn’t complaining she knew women with worse fates she concluded and headed back into the house to see if Aminat had carried out her instructions or not…

 (Husband is impotent and lives off her)
Osas sat up on the bed with his head on his hands; a crumpled letter lay between his legs. He lifted his head when the phone started to ring, then dropped it back. Chichi walked in and picked up the ringing phone, answering it, “oh good evening sir, no he is not back yet sir” she replied when Osas gestured for her to end the call, “I will let him know sir, thank you sir” she paused, “my regards to her too” she ended the call and sat down slowly near her fiancé of nine years. She rubbed his back slowly as she stared into space, “it’s not the end of the world love” she said in a small voice, he shrugged her hand off angrily, “if you don’t have anything better than psycho babble to say just shut up and leave me alone!” he spat out viciously, Chichi winced but didn’t move, he took a deep breath and rubbed his head, “baby I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—“ he cut off shaking his head, she squeezed his hands and raised her head to look at him, “I’ll run the bath for you, and later massage your body with that oil you love so much, I’m sure you’ll feel better” she muttered quietly as she wondered how she was going to tell her friends that her wedding plans were postponed again…

Thursday, 21 March 2013

One Day at a Time

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

This prayer rings true for me when i think of the fact that i haven't blogged for a long time. my days have been occupied with doing too much and doing so little that on days when I do too much, I just don't know where to start blogging from and the days i do little, i don't feel i have anything to say and so instead of DOING anything, i just shut down. We do that a lot in life, just shut down because you don't know the difference between the things you can change and those you cant change. 
For me, not blogging was my way of shutting down, i couldn't communicate, just didn't think i could blog about the issues i faced or blog about the silences i encountered before the storm, but the truth is, the more i waited to find balance, the more time i wasted doing nothing or reaching out like i really wanted to. I know of relationships(marriages) that broke up not because the people didn't care enough, or because the devil was out to sabotage them, but simply because they couldn't find time to reach out, too much or too little was always happening and while they were waiting for the right time to iron out their differences, they grew apart and things just didn't matter anymore. 
so dear friend, learn from my error, don't shut down because the storms of life are battering you, don't either because you live what you call a dull, boring existence("nothing EVER happens to me!", i hear you say)
If nothing happens, count yourself blessed that you're passing through life without drama and if you're facing storms repeatedly, well say the serenity prayer and thank God that you're the center of attention, remember He wont give you more than you can handle. Don't just do nothing, do something, pray! eat! love! by all means do anything but shut down!

Friday, 15 February 2013

Before I Do 3

The church was already full, I could see my mum craning her head, smiling and gesturing, I couldn’t figure out what she was trying to tell me until Tinu stepped closer and whispered in my ear, “Caleb is MIA!” my steps faltered and Roger my step dad put his hand around my waist, “you okay dumpling?” he murmured, I nodded and swallowed hard, “this is my future, this is my future” I muttered as I walked slowly towards the alter. My mother’s pastor, Bishop Onovo beamed as he nodded and had his brows mopped by his chubby wife, Ivie. I saw Tony pinch his collar, he was sweating buckets, had his face always been so broad and oily? I wondered as I got closer. Roger handed me to him and I cringed as I placed my hand on his sweaty palm. He smiled but his eyes didn’t meet mine, we quickly turned to the pastor who smiled at both of us and gestured to the choir mistress to round up the hymn, ‘Blessed Assurance’ they sang as wedding March. He then cleared his throat and raised the cordless microphone to his mouth, “beloved!” he bellowed, “we are gathered here to witness the holy matrimony between our deaconess Patricia Attah’s first daughter, and the aviation minister’s son” really? I thought as I rolled my eyes, didn’t we have our own identities other than our parents’ own?
“Marriage is sacred in the eyes of God, which is why we always ask the couple if they are really sure they want to go through with it before we proceed" What? I thought in panic as I felt Tony shuffle beside me, I finally realized why it was called cold feet. I swallowed as the pastor looked at us waiting for us to say something, “no reason” I croaked as my blessed Tinu handed me a small bottle of water to drink from, I don’t know what I would have done without her. We all turned to Tony and he mimicked my swallowing as I generously handed him the bottle of water as well, he drank lustily making loud gulping sound that made the church laugh. Then he handed the empty bottle back to me and turned to the pastor as one of the grooms men mercifully handed him a white handkerchief, “pastor” he said mopping his brow, “can I have a minute with my bride alone” I heard a collective gasp from the church but the pastor nodded and ushered us to the side door that led to his office, immediately the door closed Tony and I stared at each other and suddenly, we were laughing our heads off. When we were done, we sat down side by side and held hands, we didn’t need to say anything, “I really love you Julia” he said quietly, I nodded, unable to reply candidly, “I know” I whispered instead, “but I knew Isokhe back in secondary school, she was my first” I nodded mutely again. It made perfect sense, that my wedding planner and the best man should ruin our wedding, he sighed heavily, “my dad will kill me, he really wanted us to marry, you know he promised to give Roger the flight license as soon as we’re married” I stared at him dumbly, “you didn’t know?” he asked turning to me, “no! when did they broker the deal?” “Before we met at the club, your mother pointed you out to me at the pink gala” he replied quietly, I stared! The pink gala was two months before I met Tony at the club where I was getting plastered for failing my bar exams, “I followed you to the club” he paused and mopped his face again, “your mum said if she introduced us you wouldn’t be interested so I had to make it look like a chance meeting” I shook my head in disbelieve, “and what is your father getting out of this? Why is he being nice to my mother?” Tony got up and stretched, “you have to ask your mother that” he patted my shoulder, “I’m not going back there, are you?” he asked pointing towards the church, I shook my head angrily, no, I’m not either” “you need a ride?” he asked as he fished out his SUV keys, I nodded holding up the long train on my wedding dress, we headed away from the church auditorium and before long we were skirting the car park, his SUV was directly in front of the church, like two naughty children we tip toed to the car and unlocked it, the usher by the entrance caught sight of us and made a sound between a scream and a word, we jumped into the car and Tony gunned it. Just as he zoomed past the open gates I looked back and saw people pouring out of the church, the usher was pointing at the car, then Tony turned and we were gone! Then I felt the soft hand nudging me and my eyes flew open, it was Tinu, 
“Wake up sleepy head! Its your wedding day!” she said as I looked around and noticed that I was still in the hotel room, I dreamt it all! 
I yawned and scratched my forehead as my racing heart normalised, “I had the weirdest dream, I dreamt that the wedding didn’t hold because I kissed Caleb and Tony saw us…”
“Yes boo!” Tinu interrupted, “I’m sure it’s an interesting dream when your married ex boyfriend Caleb is in it, but we need to shower, Isokhe called ten minutes ago and said the cameramen are here, so get up dreamer!” I got up and frowned, Caleb’s kiss, Tony and Isokhe, all a dream! I sighed as I headed for the bathroom, “You know the weird part? Roger was getting a flight license from Tony’s dad!” Tinu snorted, “Your step-dad Roger? The one who died five years ago? You should lay off margaritas or any kind of cocktail at night!”  she gestured with her finger to her head like I was crazy, I smiled wanly and shut the bathroom door.
I put the shower on cold, I needed to be completely awake for the day.
The veil was lifted and I kissed my husband Tony as the whole church cheered, I looked to where my mother was sitting with my younger brother Jude, dabbing her eyes, I knew she would cry, but for the first time in a long time, I knew they were tears of joy, the dark days were over and I was now Mrs. Julia Onosode, wife of Tony Onosode, only son of the aviation minister.

The End

Friday, 25 January 2013

The Dreamer

Hello All! Its been a while since we chatted!Hope all is well with you? Me, I'm holding up, looking up to God and hoping that i can be of help to someone...Sometimes though, when something happens that makes me sad, I find out that the only thing that lifts me out of the depression is helping someone else, does it happen to you too?
It reminds me of the story of Joseph, remember Joseph from the bible? Yes, the dreamer! I sometimes wonder if being called the dreamer was apt, how about the helper? did you notice how even though Joseph was treated terribly by people (especially those closest to him) he still went out of his way to help people? He didn't seem to mind that they abused his trust or was he just that naive? He is someone, who was sold to slavery by his own flesh and blood, goes to become his master's favorite servant, was betrayed again by his master when the master's wife accused him of rape. You know sometimes you think people you trust and love should know you enough to vouch for you, to say, "no, that's not something Vidagirl would do!" you know? Potiphar believed his wife even though he'd been with Joseph enough to know what he could or could not do, then this same wrongfully accused, spitefully treated young man goes into prison and before long he's helping people again! I mean, I'm sure it wasn't only the baker and the cup bearer he helped with interpretation of their dreams, i'm fairly positive that everyone who had a dream ran to Joseph for help and he would gladly help with the interpretation and counsel them on how they should go to realize their dreams! He was just a really good guy! Then here is the part i feel earned him the name, the Dreamer. When he was done with the cup bearer's dream he then said to the cup bearer "remember me!" What a dreamer! The fact that he still had faith in humanity makes me dizzy! Why would the cup bearer remember him after he leaves prison? no reason whatsoever, because seriously what use is an Israeli slave in prison to the Egyptian cup bearer in the palace? Joseph was useless to him, he was only useful in interpreting his dream, but after that, he was 'not applicable'
But then God came into the mix and the useless dream interpreter who was once a dreamer himself became the most important man on earth! Only God could have created such a turnaround. And hes still in the business of doing so! A preacher i love to listen to would say if you want to dream, dream like a fool! dream ridiculous dreams, after all you're not paying for them so why not dream big? Do you have a dream and instead of you pursuing your dreams it seems you're now the go-to guy for everyone else's dreams, you're so busy with other people's dreams that you seem to have forgotten yours, well i'm here to tell you that you're on the right path! keep looking up to God, He KNOWS how to connect the dots and bring your dreams to life! The bigger your dream, the more people you will help in realizing theirs (true talk!) God's got it all in control, don't be afraid or don't feel bad the next time people laugh at your face and call you a 'Dreamer!' Look at Joseph, the dreamer! You're in very good company!
Keep the dream alive! Ciao!

Friday, 18 January 2013

Before I Do 2

Hi All!So I had alot of people beg to know what happened after Julia's pre-wedding kiss, whether she went on with the wedding or not, I decided to tell you the rest of the case you were still wondering. Enjoy!

I heard the camera click and I blinked reflexively as Tinu slipped past the video man by the door into the room, I felt as if I was suffocating, there was the hairstylist, the make up artist my mother contracted, two camera men, one lighting man, one video man and my mother who kept readjusting everything and muttering, "...everything must be perfect,just so.." I sighed heavily and turned my stare to Tinu without moving my head, she saw my look and wearing a dazzling smile, she tackled my mum first, "ah mummy, at this rate we will have to wrestle for the maid of honor position and you know I fight dirty!" My mum finally stopped fussing and turned to her with a benign smile, "I cant fight o! I'm no spring chicken!" she commented as she allowed herself to be steered towards the door, "Ah! nobody is these days o! but don't worry, I will make sure she's perfect for the event, ma worry(don't worry)" My mother beamed one last time at me, then shut the door, I exhaled, I didn't even know I'd stopped breathing, then she instructed the camera/video people to mount up on the hallway and when they tried to protest she hiked up her skirt and told them she was going to change her sanitary pad in front of them, they fled! She readjusted her skirt with a smile as she turned and stared at the two ladies and they got the message and exited with a quiet whoosh! I sighed again in relief and almost cried but contained myself because I was sure my mum will kill me if I ruined my artfully made up face. Then she drew a chair close to me and said in a quiet voice, "you look weird, whats up?" I couldnt wait to share, "I kissed Caleb and Tony saw us but he was also smooching Isokhe!" I inhaled and exhaled several times, finally someone else knew! Tinu threw her head back and had a good laugh, "babe! the list was a joke! I didn't think you'd do it!" She laughed some more then sobered up, "have you spoken to Tony since then?" I shook my head, "do you think I should confront him about my wedding planner?" "he will confront you about his best man!no, I think you should marry his arse and spend the rest of your life making him pay!" I rolled my eyes, Tinu the drama queen, I thought already feeling lighter, "how do I do that? make him pay? hes not the only guilty one here you know" I replied, "then just sweep it under the carpet and forget it, you do me I do you God no go vex, abi?" I smiled, my first for the day, "that's why you're my maid of honor, you know exactly what to say" I hugged her as we both heard a knock on the door, my cousin Jasmine walked in dressed in pink ruffles and carrying a basket of red and white rose petals, "hello Jazz" I said perking up, she walked shyly to me and removed a folded hotel stationery from her basket, "Uncle Caleb said to give this to you" she said in her breathy twelve years old voice, I smiled adjusted the bow on her head and sent her away. I sat staring at Tinu holding the stationery with two fingers as if it is poisonous, "Why would he write?" I asked her, afraid to open it, "Open it!" she urged, unlike her she didn't try to take it from me and read. We stared at each other a few seconds more, then I unfolded the thick conqueror paper, there was just one line. It read, "Jules, I cant go through with it, I love you" Silently, I handed the paper to Tinu who read with a frown, "what does he mean?" she asked the paper, still checking it for more. I shook my head as the first tear drop slid down my powdered cheek and hit my folded arms, "why me T?" I asked as tears coursed down my cheek ruining my make up, "why now?" I got up and started pacing as my best friend stared at me mutely, "You know how I feel about Caleb, why didn't he say this two years ago? or even two months ago? why wait till my wedding morning to declare his undying love?hmm?" Tinu finally got up and hugged me, she knew too well what this was doing to me, I held her back and just wept, years of pent up frustration, anger, sadness despair just poured out, "I love him too!" I said amidst sobs and hiccups, "shhhhhh" Tinu whispered until I stopped crying, I turned and saw my face and started laughing, Tinu turned and stared at my reflection on the hotel mirror and soon, we were both laughing so hard that I started crying all over again. It was the second knock that finally brought us to our senses, one of the camera men poked his head in tentatively, "they're ready for you!" he said as if pronouncing a death sentence, I sat back down and tried to repair my ruined face as Tinu raced to the bathroom and returned with a face towel soaked in cold water, "this will reduce the swelling of your eyes" she said as we both stared at each other, "I'm going to marry Tony, even though I'm in love with Caleb" I stated it, just to get it off my chest, Tinu nodded, "that's what grown ups do, take responsibility for their actions" she said quietly, I nodded and re-applied my make up the best I could, then I got up and covered my blotchy face with the veil, "Wait!" Tinu screamed as she dug into her clutch and brought out a small vial of Visine, "big girls don't cry baby!" she said as she removed the viel and squirt a drop on each eye, I blinked as the cold fluid touched my red eyes soothing it. We covered my face again with the veil and after another quick hug, I headed for the door, I inhaled deeply again and then I pulled the door open and matched to my future head held high, after all, Big girls don't cry... To Be Continued..

Tuesday, 15 January 2013


As I sat behind my younger sister in the church as she exchanged wedding vows, I felt peace, knowing that this day finally came for her! All the prayers, the preparations, the books(inspirational and motivational!) we read together, finally, when it was time, it was God that did it. Yes, praying and reading helps to get you ready for the next level, but there's something my pastor says, "for every level there's a devil" and that's true! See without the devils the power of God cannot manifest in our lives!
To walk in the supernatural blessings of God, your life cant be free of challenges, take the life of David for instance, the fact that God chose him to be   king of Israel didn't mean it just fell into his laps! He faced so many oppositions that if he was like some of us, we will regret the change, we will long for days when we were still stuck in the lower level, the new level will have devils, but be rest assured that God is also there with you! He will not let any harm come to you! What have you started this year that seems to be like a step backwards instead of moving forward? The fact that things are not working out in your new level doesn't mean its wrong, it means you need to hold on tighter to God and trust Him to walk you through it. Don't be afraid, God is real in every situation not just in some and He will help you this season. Do I hear an amen?ciao!

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Before I Do...

I sat perfectly still as I waited for the veil to be properly adjusted covering my already made up face, my mind was in a whirl. It wasn’t just about everything being perfect and right during the ceremony and the reception, it was the sudden doubts, doubts that like long, wintry fingers, have taken hold of my heart and were slowly squeezing out the warmth of the love I had for my fiancé Tony. To think it all started as a joke at my bridal shower, Tinu ever the dare devil and organizer had stood up, after shushing everyone, she had ceremoniously reached into her clutch and brought out the slim sheet of paper, “okay Jules” she said turning to me, her mischievous eyes dancing in her smooth, oval face, “before you walk down the aisle, we must be sure that you have beyond any reasonable doubt, lived and partied hard, like a true babe!” I cocked my head suspiciously, I knew Tinu too well to take her serious, “and you have a checklist to prove I have?” I asked skeptically, “I have something better than a checklist!” she declared as my other eight friends laughed along, Tinu was always the heart of the party, the first in our group to do anything daring! “okay” I replied playing along, “read it to me!” I said amidst applause and cheers from the other girls, we were all slightly tipsy, all except for Bose, our designated driver and the only one in our group that really took her faith in Christ seriously enough not to ever drink, or smoke when we experimented and never had sex, why does she put up with us? She piously replied once that we were her cross to bear, so she tagged along to keep us in check, or take us home when we were too wasted to care. “Can we just eat cake and go home? Tomorrow is the wedding remember?” she said now as Tinu unfolded the paper, pressing her index finger to her lips to silence Bose, “These” she proclaimed dramatically raising the sheet of paper up like a testament, “are actions a true babe would have taken before she retires to say the words I DO” she looked around coyly, she had us all and she knew it, “they are ten in number and I read” by now most of us were fidgeting, “sex on the beach!” she declared as we all exhaled laughing, it was just a joke after all, even Bose managed a close lipped smile, “been there done that, too much hype!” Clara yelled, “Too much sand, Gosh!” Louisa quipped as she high-fived Clara, my heart swelled looking at them all, my friends, we all have been together through trying times, and here we were, still forging ahead, “tequila shots!” “check!” we all shouted laughing, Tinu knew how to liven up a gathering, she paused now and looked at each one of us, “kiss a girl!” she shouted, at first we looked at each other puzzled, then Clara got up walked to me and planted a wet one on my lips, “check!” she screamed as others hooted. I was too stunned to react, Tinu high-fived her and continued, “make out with a stranger” we all started to laugh, “Check, Check!” they all yelled, I smiled, making out with a stranger was what got us here. I had gotten drunk because I failed my bar exams and as I danced on the dance floor, Tony had walked up to me and started dancing with me, I had other ideas on my mind and we ended up in his car groping and making out, but he stopped me when I reached for his zipper, “I usually don’t do this” he said lamely, I frowned at him, “that’s supposed to be my line!” I said slurring my words, he firmly pushed me away, “you’re too drunk to make any decision, let’s call it a night” he ended up taking me home and the rest is history. I shook a finger at them all smiling, I wasn’t proud of that day, still, you can’t fault the result of my drunkenness, “okay moving on!” Tinu said rolling her eyes, “throw a white party” We all nodded, my last year’s birthday party was an all white party. “okay, that’s five down, it gets really tricky from here on” she said as she cleared her throat dramatically, “own a black book” we all snorted, “Ipads!” someone shouted, “iphones!” someone else yelled, “okay okay, so it’s a little outdated” we all settled back, “had a ménage a trios” she said looking around, some of my friends frowned, “what’s that?” Clara asked, her tiny face scrunched up, Tinu glanced at me and we both looked away, “that’s when you have more than one person on the bed, a threesome” Bose shook her head disapprovingly; “that is not a joke anymore, that’s a sin!” But our look didn’t escape Louisa, “you guys have done it!” she exclaimed looking from me to Tinu, “okay, check! It was our first year in college and the guy was hot and we were in an adventurous mood!” Tinu replied as I covered my face with my palms ashamed, it was all Tinu’s idea and back then I did everything she did to impress her. “Wow!” Clara exclaimed shaking her head, “now I have to find someone to do a threesome with me!” we all laughed and the tension cleared, Tinu continued, “affair with a married man” to this there were cries of “several!” as I modestly replied, “speak for yourselves bitches!” “Okay guys, number nine on the list, is own a pet!” she proclaimed, “are you serious?” I asked, “Check! I have matador!” I said referring to my nine month old bullmastiff. “And finally, the dreaded number ten, make love to your ex one last time!” there was lots of exclamations and guffaws. They all knew my ex happened to be Tony’s best man, we both decided not to tell him we dated back in London; I shook my head now, “well tough luck, I’m not a babe then, cos that’s not gonna happen!” Tinu hissed shaking her head, “so you will let something this trivial mar you?” “Yes!” I screamed as Bose got up and took the sheet from Tinu, she tore it up, “enough! Let’s enjoy ourselves and call it a night!” Everyone drank up and soon we were all heading for the exit. We were all booked in the same hotel since they were my bridesmaids, so we crammed ourselves into Tony’s SUV that I borrowed for the night and Bose drove us back to the quiet hotel in Lekki. We bade each other goodnight and headed for our rooms. We were paired up and Tinu, who was also my maid of honor, shared a room with me. As we got into bed she raised herself on an elbow and asked again, “what’s the big deal?” I waved her off as I tried to muster sleep, “Tinu please, the bridal shower is over, let’s just get some sleep okay?” she snorted, hissed and pounded her pillow before she settled in, and just when I was dozing off, I heard a quiet knock on the door. I frowned and turned to look at Tinu, she seemed to be fast asleep already, I grumbled as I put on my robe and stumbled to the door, I eased it open trying not to wake Tinu up, it was Caleb standing there! Caleb and I met one rainy day in London, I had just joined my mum and my step dad there and still had grandma’s admonitions and Christian upbringing running like a mantra through my mind, we dated for four months before I finally introduced him to my parents, they liked him immediately, “hi” he whispered now, leaning on the door, his tall lanky frame both lean and soft at the same time, I smelt his cologne and drew back into the room, “what do you want?” I asked a little too harshly, I didn’t want him to know what being this close was doing to me, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay” he answered quietly, I looked up at him, at a loss of what to say, looking back into the room, I stepped out and eased the door close, “Caleb you know you shouldn’t be checking on me” I admonished, he sighed heavily, nodding in agreement, “I know, I’m sorry, I just wanted one last peek at what I’m never getting again” he sounded so sad! It was my turn to sigh, “we’ve been through this before Kay” I shook my head now as images of us together obstructed my vision, “we can’t be seen together alone, please!” I stressed, he nodded again and turned to leave, “have a blissful marriage Julia” he leaned down and gathered me into his arms, it felt so good and I relaxed for just a second as his lips brushed mine, then I heard the elevator ping and open directly opposite us on the hallway, and Tony and my wedding planner Isokhe stumbled out, kissing and hands tearing at each other’s clothes. We all froze like deers caught in headlights. Then I turned and stumbled back into my room, heart pounding and hands shaking, what just happened? I asked myself as I crawled back into bed and threw the coverlet over my head. What do I do? Confront Tony? Confess that I dated his best friend? What do I do, before I say ‘I Do’?.........To Be Continued.........

So folks, what should Julia do? Marry Tony without a confrontation? or confront him and probably call off the wedding? send your replies as comments,thanks!