Thursday, 30 August 2012


Hey you!
hope your day is going well? if not, that just a bummer...
I think I have something that might cheer you up. I know you've heard it said that everyone's DNA is unique (even identical twins) and finger prints as well. You are the only one with your fingerprint, it cant be duplicated, I know, that doesn't make you feel better either, time to bring out the heavy guns.
God created you to be so unique that He didn't use a mold, He created you straight out of the earth, so that you cannot be duplicated, replicated in any way...something to think about right?
Maybe you're feeling low especially when you think about all the young people making history and money these days, Usain Bolt, Gabby Douglas, Chimamanda Adichie, so many!
And here you are, thirty-something or forty-something, slaving away at a modest job where everyone indulges you as if you're their favorite uncle/aunt. you wanted so much when you were younger, you dreamt big and hard, whatever happened? the years just silently slipped by, before you know it, all you do is work! First to take care of yourself and your younger ones and of course your aged parents, then to impress your wife (or feed your unemployed hubby), then came the family. And because you went to 'School of Hard Knocks', you promised yourself that your children will only have the best of everything, that of course, boils down to more work!
So you decided to have a modest family, three-one boy and two girls-gone are the days when a  man sired twelve children! you put them in the best private schools(those usually cost an arm and a kidney,but what can you do, only the best for your children right?), then they have to dress well (more money!) private schools have trips/ escortions (you pay, your children shouldn't feel left out, besides, its really educational after all!)
Its summer and you want to spend quality time with your family(you don't head to your village, God forbid! make dem winch you die?) so you plan a trip abroad (any of the resorts around the nation would have been great if only they were properly maintained and the roads weren't death traps (road trip?no try yourself o!) so you go to Ghana or Dubai, affordable locations and easy to get a visa (but you still spend even more money shopping and lodging!sigh!)
You return from your trip and first day of work/school the second car packs up so you take public transport and leave your car so that madam and the children can move around easily.
You apply for a car loan, the beetle was actually due for retirement anyway! Now you're paying car loans, expensive school fees, catering to mama and papa in the village, your eight siblings, renovating the house in Epe so that you can finally be a landlord instead of still making your landlord rich by paying millions for the comfortable home in VGC, phew!
And just this morning, your father called that he needs to do the prostate operation. Trust me, I  can understand if you don't feel peachy or special, you cant even remember the last time you did something entirely for you alone! You haven't bought any new clothes even though you love wearing Jeans, the aso-ebi you bought last month for Deaconess Anges' wedding is the last 'cloth' you added to your wardrobe!
So how can you possibly be special?
But you are. Special! You have juggled situations and circumstances that has crippled many, circumstances that many shy away from, you have touched people's lives(your children's at least) even though they hardly stop to say 'thank you!" and mean it.
Let me tell you something, Obama knew he was going to be the US president one day, but without his mother, he would never have dreamt at all! Do you even know her name? She birthed him, nurtured him until he was old enough to choose his path. The fact that her name isn't known doesn't mean she hasn't accomplished something...
Maybe we are not all created to be front runners! maybe your dream is to help someone else achieve theirs, it makes you more special than that person, because what you're doing for them is selfless!
So the next time you pick up a daily(or open your Yahoo or google chrome) and you see and recognize people achieving great feats, don't feel bad! You are just as special, it doesn't matter much that you're not as known as they are.
Point to yourself and say proudly, "I, Special Breed!"
So tell me, did it work? did I succeed in cheering you up?

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

When I grow Up...

I write as a hobby, I somehow evolved from poetry to stories, but i love poems. I love the way they're able to speak volumes with so little. I wrote this poem a while back, I thought I should share it with you, hope you enjoy it, its titled When I Grow Up.

When I grow up, I want to be free,
I want to be able to buy, anything that I need
To eat chocolates and not think of calories,
To buy that skirt
and not think of how much it costs.

When I grow up, I want to live,
Without being fitted into a class or two,
To be able to wear anything, everyday of the week
To shout when I like and sleep till the sun comes up
To choose to vote or be voted for
To exercise or not
To live in any part of the world
that i wish or fancy.

When I grow up, I want to be rich
Not to be labeled by any socio-economic status, or judged because I drink
I want to be thirty-two,
Young, strong and sexy
To date any man I want
And dance on Sunset Boulevard
 On really sunny noons.

When I grow up, I want to have a job,
That gives me all I ever wanted and ask for nothing in return

Friday, 24 August 2012

Emotionally yours, Vidagirl.

August is drawing to a close. I cant even remember all the goals I set for myself this year. 
I think it involved going out more, learning more French(every year, I try to learn more french,cos I can say a few words already!) and working out, I know I need it, its convincing my body that's the problem!And how to earn more degrees so I can enhance my position in my company, yes, it boils down to more money eventually. 
And I think I also wanted to be more creative, write a book, learn karate or how to ride a power bike(i still want to do though....) But  I find myself instead, thinking about you, yes YOU! 
Its past five here, the office is quiet now. 
I should be rushing to get home, beat the traffic and catch the dying end of "America's Next Top Model" That's the plan, its Friday after all, TGIF! But i stayed back, because nothing(other than God) is as important to me as reaching out and touching someone else's life. 
And since i cant be everywhere at the same time, this is the best way i know, for now, to show you how important you are to me. You are worth the extra thirty minutes i will spend on the road in traffic, you're worth missing the whole episode of "top Model" and CSI Miami(sigh!!)for. 
You are worth my staying late after work on a Friday for. Because you're not only special, you are one of a kind, my true friend, my fan and you help me to believe in me.
Thank you, dear fans, for being there and reading my blogs. 

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

I'm Still Here!

Whenever life throws me a curve ball (it could be emotional, mental or just something that throws a wrench on my best laid plans) i would usually withdraw and brood about past similar events, I think of how wonderful it would have been, if only *Jude proposed after we finished university, or why *Muyiwa cheated with Bebe back in hundred level just because I was a "spirito" (his spiteful words not mine!) and why Nameless (wouldn't want to ruin this particular person with a phony name, and I'm not telling real his name either!my blog, my rules, you dig?) didn't ask me out in secondary school instead was dating a girl from the junior class.
I brood about these events, they're usually not all emotional in nature, don't get me wrong, but those hurt the most. I found out from my sister, Lisa, that this brooding is called a Pity Party.
 i loved the name! cos now I can invent colorful names for my dark periods-Pity Ball, Pity Soirees, Pity Banquets-depending on the magnitude of the situation. But the only hitch about these parties is that its a party of one, You! no one else is invited! And it unlocks the back door for errant thoughts, before long you're thinking of how pathetic you are, how sad your life is, how terrible life has treated you in the past, how bleak your future looks from where you're standing...
I know, I've followed that train of thoughts before, it led to even darker places, places so dangerous, that holding a loaded gun to your temples was safer than. Times like that I draw my family closer, and I shut every thought out with a mantra i learnt from a famous pastor, he said, "after the devil has dealt his blows, your face is all bloodied with shame, your self esteem has passed out flat on the floor and your confidence in anything is knocked out, raise your eyes up, draw your bruised and battered body up and stand on your two feet, even if you're stumbling, and say to the Devil, "I'm Still Here!"
Now I don't mean to preach, but nothing heals a broken heart faster than Jesus! When life throws those terrible moments at you and you have cried and cant cry anymore, when you are faced with those horrible valleys of shadow of Death and you wish it will all end, draw yourself up and say, "I'm Still Here!" Because Life has thrown everything at you, and you're still standing!Bravo! Say goodbye to periods of pity parties and  be resolute stand sure and stand firm, it may not get better immediately, but it will surely get better, if you stick around.
*Names and events are not real (yup!but you knew that already, didn't you?)

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Wireless Romance

I remember in my day (I'm not talking dinosaur days here, just albino tiger days, rare rare days that are fast fading now...) when a guy wanted to ask a girl out, he prepared for it like an examination, except slightly more expensive, I'll tell you why.
First, he gets an oxford dictionary, then he gets some flowered stationary, a good fountain pen or two with different colors for drawing hearts and such, if he was artistically inclined, of course (pen of choice was usually red and blue or black)He calls a friend, who has really good hand-writing and can assist in finding complex words that best describe his state of mind. the 'big' words are to show the girl in question that he is really smart and to make her dizzy when pronouncing them.
After writing the letter, he sends someone, who knows someone close to her to have it delivered, yes rigorous but quaint and somewhat romantic.
The girl in question is not under any obligation to acknowledge receipt of such letters and the guy follows up with two or more letters before he finally steps forward to inquire formally. As you may have noticed the system takes time and effort on the guy and the girl alike.
Because if the letter was from a guy you really fancied, you CANNOT under any circumstances reply in kind, you stew in waiting, until he approaches you in person.
Today, hook ups(notice i use the word 'hook up'? cos that's exactly what they are!)  are faster, guys are bolder, and maybe in their own thinking wiser, gone is the trusted friend with good handwriting and sound counsel, to be replaced by a keyboard and a strange fellow in your screen called 'wizard'.
Gone is the dictionary, totally replaced by thesaurus! and they needn't see in person, they can meet via any of the social networks(and you all know the ones I'm talking about!)
I can't help but wonder if that's why relationship break ups (marriage, friendship, any kind!) are on the rise.
Statistics will show that there are more divorces among young adults now than in say, twenty years ago! Interesting, no? One would think that now that we have access to connect (wirelessly) with our loved ones, we would be closer and it would help the relationships to get stronger, but the more wireless and fast our connections get the worse it is on relationships.
Now let me clarify that I'm not casting aspersions on technology and its growth in recent years, it has been of immense benefit to mankind.
What I'm saying is, just because emails travel in the speed of light (really?do they?) doesn't mean our emotions should travel that fast! you burn out!
I think things have become so easy that people are taking it for granted. Guys have the Adam complex, while girls, like Eve are just desperate for fun. What you don't work for, you don't value!
In my opinion, I think emails, sms messages, bbms have robbed messages of originality and individualism and its sad, because its the same red heart emoticon you sent when you saw the picture of the new Gucci fragrance you sent to her to say you love her.
Where are those men, that used to sit down and craft a complex worded romantic letter just to win a girl's heart?
I miss the old days though, but that's because I'm an albino tiger, very rare! What do you all think? Tedious letter writing on fragrant stationary or Wireless romance? you decide!

Monday, 6 August 2012

Tales out of School (Vol 2)


The day dawned bright and slighty windy, i woke up early, fed my grandmother's chickens, had my bath and wore my favorite dress, a navy blue polka dot umpire waist dress with white Peter pan collar and my shoes from *bata.
I ran to the front of the hut and stayed there so i wont be forgotten.
For the first time since he started school, my brother was escorted to school by two female bodyguards and without coercion! We got to school and my mother proceeded to explain the plan to the teacher(who happened to be one of my numerous cousins anyway!) who readily agreed to allow me 'sit in' and do my job.
School started with assembly and it was during this mass gathering I decided to sensitize the bullies of my presence. my brother pointed out the bullies one after the other and i approached each menancingly warning them of the danger they were in if they continued to pick on my brother.
I was rudely interrupted from carrying out my duties by one of the teachers who said students were not allowed to talk on the assembly ground. I kept quiet after that but I kept wondering why students were not allowed to talk, these adults are crazy! I concluded.
First subject was English, it seemed easy for me and my brother, which made the other pupils jealous. Just as we were rounding up one of the bullies pushed my brother from behind I promptly got up and assumed my fight stance!( I stuck out a stubby index finger and put the other hand on my waist leaning forward!yes keh!) with a voice like Clint Eastwood, I leaned close to his face and hissed, "if you touch am again i go beat you!" and I slapped him to show him how serious I was, he pushed me in retaliation and my big brother finally got up and punched him, he fell back and couldnt get up! who knew?
We stood in that classroom, back to back on the offensive(I'm sure this really didn't happen, but it makes good story telling, no?) the teacher ordered everyone to sit and that was how the fame of the brother-sister squad spread throughout the school! he was never messed with after that! and Me? ooh i walked around with bow-legs like John Wayne looking for who will, "go ahead, make my day!"
anyway, thats how I started school, and how i ended up following him around, until we started secondary school!
The moral of the story? Don't mess with ma famille, seriously, I go chinese you!
Secondly, and this is the most important lesson; when you set out to help others, you end up helping yourself. Think about it!
PS: it wont hurt also if you can fight before you start one, you may not be as lucky as I was(lol)
*famous brand of shoes in my time(yes,that long ago!!!)

Friday, 3 August 2012

Tales out of school (Vol 1)

My first job in life was as a bodyguard, to my immediate older brother, Raphael. It was a job I took rather seriously, how did I get this job? it happened thus...
We were all born in Lagos, one day, in social studies class, my elder sister was asked where she was from and she said, "Apapa!" my parents were called and that prompted my father to move us all from our only known home in Apapa to Edo state.
We found ourselves in this quaint village surrounded by seven hills called the "Kukuruku hills".
We moved into my paternal grandmother's hut, there was no electricity in the whole village and playtime consisted of running around aimlessly, singing in our local dialect(which we could not speak!) or listening to folklores from my grandmother under a blanket of stars as she smokes cigarrettes.
My father said to us on that first night, "learn all you can about where you're from in one year and return to civilisation or stay here for the rest of your lives! we stared at him in horror as we took in the small, dark hut illuminated by smoky hurricane lamps and promised to learn our dialect and everything else in six months. Living in the village wasnt so bad in daylight, there was a stream behind my grandmother's hut we could go swim and have our bath, it was forbidden thougth to fish from it. so it was commonplace to swim among large, silvery fish, that lazily swim between your legs or beside you.
 My elder brother started school in the only primary school across the field in front of my grandmother's hut. it belonged to the "ogie-awa of atte" the ruler, who just happened to be my late grandfather (Yup!) so admission was a shoo-in, but my brother hated the school because he was bullied for bieng the new kid that spoke English. it got so bad that he had to be royally escorted every day by my cane-yeilding mum as he cried all the way.
I was too young to go, being just three and a half years old, my left hand still could not touch my right ear over my head (which was the aptitude test needed to enter into primary one then, this was pre-Pre-school days, fellows!) so I watched him everyday, it was the samething. One day, my mother had had enough and she was discussing it with some of our nieghbors (a fish seller and a pig rearer) and they advised her to pull him out of school and let him go farming with my grannie. while she was mulling it over, I happened to be standing in the middle of the traingle and I spoke up,(my sister would usually say, "God bless your chocolatey lips for speaking up!"lol!) I suggested going with him to school and if his bullies dare show themselves I will beat them up(Rambo had nothing on me o!) and if I couldnt handle them all I will run home and call my mother as back up. the women had a good laugh at my expense but considered the idea and told my brother I will accompany him to school. with this decision made, we all went to sleep, me with excitment and anticipation at my new job as my brother's bodyguard, the possibilities for me were endless! I was going to school!!what happened next?
Well you have to wait for my next blog!TGIF!

Thursday, 2 August 2012

The unfinished...

"I lay me down upon the shore and dream a little space
i heard the great waves break and roar, the sun was on my face.
my lazy hands and fingers brown played with the pebbles grey,
the waves came up, the waves came down most thundering and gay.
the pebbles, they were smooth and round and warmed upon my hand,
like little people i have found sitting among the sands.
the grains of sand so shining,smooth, soft through my fingers ran,
the sun shone down upon it all and there my dream began"
I remember this poem from my primary five English class, we were supposed to memorize it and recite in front of the class. this is actually the beginning of the poem, it was eight stanzas long!
I remember trying to cram it saturday at home and failing, the words jumbled and didnt make one sense! I could feel the teacher's cane already on my hand, I moped around the house sunday and by monday morning, I was among the panicked pupils just waiting to be flogged. but as i stood there waiting for my turn, I picked up my reader one more time and I read the poem to myself, and something strange happened. it was no longer a long jumble of words, it became a story, with rhymes and a pattern. by the time the teacher called me, I had finished reading the first stanza(as seen above!) and i recited it, plainly and clearly. she smiled as I finished the first stanza and asked me to sit down! I was the first one to sit down that morning! I still remember that poem, I didnt read it again after that day, so I dont know what the poet's dream was, but it sounded like a beautiful day! I learnt an important lesson that day, it is simply this:
Just the fact that everyone say its hard doesnt mean it will be hard for you, it might really be easy!
Learn to always look at problems twice, from different perpectives and finally (the most important one)
Finish everything you start! you may end up being like me, with half of a poem haunting me for the rest of my life! Finish, and finish well!
PS: if anyone knows the end of the poem, the missing stanzas, please let me know! mucho gracias!