Friday 3 August 2012

Tales out of school (Vol 1)

My first job in life was as a bodyguard, to my immediate older brother, Raphael. It was a job I took rather seriously, how did I get this job? it happened thus...
We were all born in Lagos, one day, in social studies class, my elder sister was asked where she was from and she said, "Apapa!" my parents were called and that prompted my father to move us all from our only known home in Apapa to Edo state.
We found ourselves in this quaint village surrounded by seven hills called the "Kukuruku hills".
We moved into my paternal grandmother's hut, there was no electricity in the whole village and playtime consisted of running around aimlessly, singing in our local dialect(which we could not speak!) or listening to folklores from my grandmother under a blanket of stars as she smokes cigarrettes.
My father said to us on that first night, "learn all you can about where you're from in one year and return to civilisation or stay here for the rest of your lives! we stared at him in horror as we took in the small, dark hut illuminated by smoky hurricane lamps and promised to learn our dialect and everything else in six months. Living in the village wasnt so bad in daylight, there was a stream behind my grandmother's hut we could go swim and have our bath, it was forbidden thougth to fish from it. so it was commonplace to swim among large, silvery fish, that lazily swim between your legs or beside you.
 My elder brother started school in the only primary school across the field in front of my grandmother's hut. it belonged to the "ogie-awa of atte" the ruler, who just happened to be my late grandfather (Yup!) so admission was a shoo-in, but my brother hated the school because he was bullied for bieng the new kid that spoke English. it got so bad that he had to be royally escorted every day by my cane-yeilding mum as he cried all the way.
I was too young to go, being just three and a half years old, my left hand still could not touch my right ear over my head (which was the aptitude test needed to enter into primary one then, this was pre-Pre-school days, fellows!) so I watched him everyday, it was the samething. One day, my mother had had enough and she was discussing it with some of our nieghbors (a fish seller and a pig rearer) and they advised her to pull him out of school and let him go farming with my grannie. while she was mulling it over, I happened to be standing in the middle of the traingle and I spoke up,(my sister would usually say, "God bless your chocolatey lips for speaking up!"lol!) I suggested going with him to school and if his bullies dare show themselves I will beat them up(Rambo had nothing on me o!) and if I couldnt handle them all I will run home and call my mother as back up. the women had a good laugh at my expense but considered the idea and told my brother I will accompany him to school. with this decision made, we all went to sleep, me with excitment and anticipation at my new job as my brother's bodyguard, the possibilities for me were endless! I was going to school!!what happened next?
Well you have to wait for my next blog!TGIF!
Ciao!

1 comment:

  1. Remembering this story is guaranteed to make me laugh all day

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